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MARKQUE.: SMOKING. ↘

markque:

I’ve been smoking cigarettes for about 2 years now. I know that may not seem like long, but honestly I can’t remember what it was like before I started. It’s a vice of mine. As soon as that smoke hits your lungs you feel lighter. Your world stands still for a moment, but everything around you is just spinning. You’re provided a temporary relief from any stress and worry.

But that’s all it is, its temporary. You can say it’s an escape, but I say that’s an excuse. Smoking is complete bullshit. I wish I could go back in time and kick the shit out of myself when I was 18. I use cigarettes for all these unbearable things in my life. And you know what the sad thing is? I don’t even have it that bad. I’m addicted. Now there’s no going back. I’ve cut down but I haven’t stopped. But smoking isn’t the only thing I’ve cut down. I’ve also cut my life down a bit. They say it takes about 25 years for your body to return back to how it was before you started after you’ve been smoking for a while. I’ve spent about $1,000 on cigarettes. And I complain that I’m always broke. There’s no beneficial point of view on smoking. You’re not cooler, you’re not relieving stress. You’re trying to find a way out of whatever is bothering you, or you’re just trying to be something you’re not.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”